Well an arsonist struck the house two doors down last night. The kids didn’t even wake up as more than 6 firetrucks plowed down our street. I heard the first one go past and then heard this weird crashing sound and thought the firetruck had hit something, but then the Poker Stud (previously known as the Penis Department) came up and told me the neighbor’s house was on fire. I’ve never seen firemen at work before. As flames were licking at the roof there were three firemen on top chainsawing through the roof to get in and put it out. Weird, and the flames were reflecting off my retired widow’s house and I never even saw her. Did she sleep through it just like my kids? And to all of you who are half-assed like me, get those smoke alarms checked and/or installed. That house was crackling and popping and my children slept through it all, would I?