So crushed (more juice pitcher riffing)

So I took the girls on a playdate this morning and left before the penis department did, which inspired him to stay home half the day, and granted, he claims he applied for some jobs and he was waiting for his paycheck to arrive in the mail so he could take it to the bank, but still he never stays home UNTIL 2PM when I’m home with the kids…probably so he can surf the same porn that all those other guys on bash are apparently doing all the time. What do I care, he did the dishes.

So he tells me the FedEx guy came. WTF? I missed the FedEx guy for 3 days in a row and then today he came to the house? I didn’t order anything else, I swear. Turns out it was for the neighbor behind us, but now the Penis Department has seen him and he agrees I am not crazy nor do I have a thing for delivery guys (okay maybe a small thing), but the FedEx guy really is beautiful, and the P.D. notes, muscular too. He must be hot if he can make the Stud that gay. And I missed him again. So now that the boy has put the paycheck in the bank, what can I order off the internet? Maybe they sell FedEx uniforms somewhere. I am so pathetic, and this poor FedEx guy probably has lots of other depraved housewives thinking the same thing about him. Either he likes it or finds it disgusting or he is making some serious money on the side. Serious. And I’m still out of apple juice concentrate too.

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