Shiva

In the cycle of life, there is Brahman, birth and creation, Vishnu, life, and Shiva, death and destruction. My boy is like a walking shadow of Shiva, everything he does, everything he touches, including lawn mowers, egg beaters, and even cartons of milk seem to come undone around him. In the workplace, he is learning to reign himself in from insisting on verbally destroying people and yet they manage to see that he is trying to teach them some truth and often they wind up adoring him for it. I do. He is nothing but gentle with me and the children, but we have joked for some time now that he is a bull in a china shop and I have learned to become far less irritated when he must break things.

I’d tell you more about how this affects our luck, and how it always seems like we have to be out on a limb or completely out of work before his next job begins. The worse things get for us, the better they usually become, but we have to ride it out in a lot of death and destruction. Its amazing to be with a person like this, my Cancerian careful and hesitant self has learned too much. I am a planner and an overthinker and I am partnered to an impulsive tarzan who swings from vine to vine without looking down. We can laugh about it and we both offer each other a lot. He’s learned how to tender money instead of immediately burning it out of his possession, I’ve learned to let go of predicting the future and sometimes just let it come to me. He and I became parents and discovered we needed each other if we were going to have any hope of doing a decent job, because alone it would drive us crazy. So that’s the Shiva cycle thing, I almost named Crane “Sambhavi,” one of the names of Shiva’s consorts in appreciation for just how great a role destruction has played in our lives. A destroyed marriage I had been tending for too long, my boy’s sense of righteous jealousy, my belief that I could control people and lives. So the trees are just one of the many ways where doing something in one direction tends to move our lives in exactly the opposite way, and that is a good thing to have and an even better to accept.

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