I left Crane at preschool today. There were waaay too many parents there on Tuesday and even though the bumbling politics of parent participation preschool dictate that we need an extra parent to satisfy ratios since she is under 3, there were 2-3 parents staying with their kids on Tuesday anyhow due to clingyness and what the teacher calls “gradual entry.” Personally I think too many of these parents aren’t getting good communication from the teacher (probably because there are too many parents milling around in the morning) about how to transition to preschool without overly “coddling” your child or actually making it worse for them. I see a lot of 3 and 4 year olds doing some pretty heavy parent manipulation, especially those who are only children. And I feel bad for the kids and the parents because its this wicked double bind that’s hard to get out of once your child starts to expect it. But there is a genuinely new guy, I think today was his third day and his mom was there for the first time, I got along well with his dad on Tuesday and I introduced myself and she immediately zeroed in on the fact that I was about to leave my kids and how did they deal with being left and I tried really tactfully to explain that I want my kids to be adaptable, that Crane did a Montessori-style preschool last year before she was two and loved it and leaving her was no problem. Then this new mom says, but even with a new environment, after a move, and I said how every child is different and mine just seem to feel pretty comfortable doing new things. Now I know there are some genuinely spirited and environmentally sensitive children out there, this is not meant to sound like a direct criticism of parenting strategies for those kids…but, Crane is pretty darn special and sensitive too, and I do my darnest to accomodate that, and the fact that she’s blind in one eye and all that too, and that makes me feel its even more important to sort of allow them their independance, to encourage it. I don’t even know how I do it, but I know sometimes I hide my own fears for my kids, because they’ve got plenty of there own. I think about aloofness being an important quality to develop as a parent. Detachment breeds confident kids, especially for girls who I think need the extra “toughness.” And yet I think a lot of “Attachment” parents are looking at my with envy and trying to decide whether they should judge me for it or if its too late to adopt a little themselves.
Yeah, I’ve got an hour free and here I am blogging about the preschool I should be glad I’m not at, especially since I’m the fall registrar now and will see plenty of these people and this school.